Questions Without Answers

Yesterday I found myself questioning. Questioning life. Questioning my purpose. Questioning God.



I know. I have no right.

I know. He doesn't answer to anyone - especially me.



I couldn't help it. I spent my evening watching a friend mourn the loss of her oldest son. He was 14.



He was diagnosed with Leukemia about a year ago and had a bone marrow transplant in recent months. The problems came with the medication he was given to try to keep his body from rejecting the transplant. He suffered a severe allergic reaction (called Stevens-Johnson Syndrome) which caused blisters in the mucous membranes and skin deterioration so bad that his casket had to remain closed. Over the last few weeks his mother watched helplessly as her son's body destroyed itself.



At the funeral home we waited in a long line of everything from middle-school boys to grandparents. As we moved closer to the head of the line we could see my friend (Heidi) graciously accepting the condolences of each and every person. Standing there I was both anxiously anticipating my chance to throw my arms around her and increasingly apprehensive about what I would say.

I Squeezed her tightly as we exchanged a few words and shared a lot of tears. I wish I had something insightful to say. I wish I could have carried her load, if only for a moment to allow her to regain her footing. I wish . I wish. I wish.

It's days like this that remind me that sometimes the only place we can look to for comfort is up. The only person that can carry us through it is Jesus. And the only thing we can do is trust.

It only took 18 months

Guess what!?!?!?!?!? My husband had my watch battery replaced today!

What am I going to give him a hard time about now?????

Snapshots of Christmas

Our house has been taken over by a GIANT DORA!

Garrett got the COOLEST t-shirt!

Robby didn't even make it out of his PJ's before he had to take a turn on the Wii the kids got from my brother for Christmas. I thought he was going to take out the ceiling fan with his haphazard golf swing!

Christmas Tree Update

Sorry I didn't get the "Evolved" Christmas tree pics posted sooner. . . After spending $25.00 on a new (high-tech) stand we were able to get the tree to stay upright and finish decorating it. Nothing went smoothly though. Remember the lights that weren't working? Well, I bought a few replacements but I plan to wait until the after Christmas sales to get what I really need. This meant I had to neglect the back of the tree because I didn't have enough lights to maintain the "standard" all the way around. No big deal. Nobody really sees the back anyway and the reflection off the window would give the illusion of more lights. Unfortunately, the tree really didn't want to show it's better side. After fighting with it for a good hour I gave up and turned it around. It took me awhile to realize how silly I was being and even though I'm sure it would be prettier facing forward (the way I designed it) it is a beautiful tree. As frustrating as it was,(I actually considered throwing the stupid thing off the back porch!) it gave me an excellent opportunity to talk to the kids about planning. While God expects us to make plans for ourselves, He also reminds us frequently that our plan is irrelevant to Him and He will adjust it any time He finds it's necessary. We can be stubborn and fight it and try to do things our way, but that will just waste time and energy. Sometimes we just have to adjust our expectations and rearrange our priorities. Sometimes it's necessary to look at things from a different perspective and focus on what's really important. . . and sometimes the tree just wants to face the wall!


I also put out MY train (Yes. I am a little possessive!) which hasn't been out of the box in at least 4 years. I love my little train and it brings back some great childhood memories, so I'm not really sure why it hasn't been out in so long. I guess it started with not wanting the kids to break it (this is not a "toy" train) and I was being selfish and not wanting to share! It was hard to do, but I let Garrett and Lindsay help set up the track and they have even worked the controls a couple of times!

Last night we had the annual Bates Family Christmas party. Having so many people in the house is both fun and challenging. It's nice to catch up with people we don't see often and I got to show off the decorations that I worked so hard on (HA HA)! With all the adults moving around it was hard for Lindsay and Brayden to find a place to play where they weren't getting stepped on, but they are resourceful little people. They found the perfect little hiding place. . .

What, No Snow!

I was really hoping it would snow yesterday. Not a crazy blizzard or anything, just enough to dust the ground with a beautiful, sparkling, white blanket. Instead it's 70 degrees outside and no chance for the blanket of snow I was counting on. Now I have a decision to make. See, I was depending on that snow to cover the leaves that have been littering my yard for a while now. I was hoping to keep all of our company from seeing what we didn't do this Fall. I was hoping to disguise our laziness with snow.

O Christmas Tree, Fallen Christmas Tree

I'm sure you have been checking my blog with great anticipation waiting to see the "evolution" of our Christmas tree. I'm sorry to have kept you waiting. I did get the lights we needed and had them all put on by Tuesday morning, but the speed bumps keep coming. While the kids were at school I put most of the "boring" ornaments on the tree. They never want to mess with the plain ones and I like to put them deep in the tree to reflect the lights so I knew they wouldn't mind. I also took the time to take all "their" ornaments out of the boxes and placed them neatly in rows along the wall. This way the kids could just pick up the ones they wanted to hang and go to it. I absolutely love to hear them talk about the ornaments and the memories that go along with them as they see their favorites that have been packed away for a year. (OK. More like 10 months. We almost had a Valentines Day tree this year!) You can't replace the sparkle in their eyes as they think of Christmas past. I have been told I get the same look when I unpack my own childhood ornaments and those with special memories for me.

Well. The kids didn't have the opportunity to walk down memory lane with their ornaments yet because our tree decided it would rather lay on the carpet then be upright in the tree stand! After 3 crashes to the floor we realized that the problem lies in the stand. It has served us faithfully for years, but it is worn and in need of retirement.

So. The tree is leaning, half naked, against the wall and the new tree stand is sitting in the box. Maybe tomorrow the tree that refuses to stand will become the tree filled with memories. Only time will tell.

Good Vibrations?

We recently watched Cynthia's friend Payton play hockey (a first for us). It was fun to see her out there in all her gear gliding across the ice. I was impressed.



The cold of the arena had us all huddled together on the metal bleachers trying not to shiver. Lindsay was sitting next to Robby asking about the number of school days left before Christmas break when she felt something vibrate. She looked up at him and said matter-of-factly "Mom's phone is ringing." Seemed logical since I almost always have my phone on vibrate, but I had walked out to the lobby and had my phone with me. Being embarrassed about the true cause of the vibration Robby tried to ignore her, but she continued to ask about it. Needless to say, he was quite uncomfortable sitting on the crowded bleachers having sprung an air leak with his daughter announcing it to everyone within earshot. At least it wasn't stinky!

My Little Angels

Last week during a conversation about Christmas and those less fortunate the kids decided they wanted to shop for the Angel Tree. We talked about it for a while and decided that we would pick a child and everyone would pick out their own gift for them. The kids all agreed that what they picked out would replace one of their own gifts as we would be using money out of our Christmas budget to buy the gifts. I actually thought the kids would change their mind when they knew their participation would mean less for them to open on Christmas morning, but as usual they surprised me. To them it meant they were actually giving the gift-not just picking something out with Mom and Dad's money. When we got to the table to sign out our angel we were struck by the number still waiting to be embraced. It was Sunday, about 2:30pm. The deadline was only 31/2 hours away. I wish we could have done more, but we decided to pick two.



Kimberly and Garrett picked out a boy (I think he is 10) and Lindsay and Cynthia a 15 year old girl. They were given a budget for clothes and a separate budget for toys. Then Robby and I just followed their lead. They did an excellent job of stretching their dollars as far as possible and the look of satisfaction on their faces when they placed their items in the white plastic bag was immeasurable. I firmly believe that one of the greatest lessons we can teach our kids is compassion for others and giving of yourself to those who have less. The kids included their angel in their bedtime prayers and we plan to stop Christmas morning and think about them and their family and pray that their needs are met. Who knows. Maybe God will use the kids few gifts as He did the young boy's bread and fish that became enough to feed the multitude.



I thank God for opening our eyes to the need around us and providing for our family in a way that allows us to experience the joy of giving to others. I thank Him for reminding us of His redeeming grace. And I thank Him for guiding our actions by tugging on the heartstrings of my little angels.

The "Evolution" of our Christmas Tree

Well. We got the tree in the house. It had to be trimmed a wee bit more and dried out a little on the back porch, but it is in it's place in the sunroom ready to be decorated. The boxes of ornaments are patiently waiting to take their place on the branches. I'll let the kids help with that, but first thing's first the lights have to be put on. Now you have to understand. I am a little anal about the lights. They have to be just right (translation-I have to do it myself). Robby learned this early on in our relationship. Being the helpful man he is, he put the lights on for me once. He didn't do a BAD job, but it just didn't work for me. I ended up taking them all off and starting over. See, I'm not satisfied with just walking around the tree stringing the lights up as I go. They have to be carefully placed on each branch, all the way in to the trunk and back again. It is a painstaking process that I absolutely LOVE. I think it was my Dad who "taught" me the fine art of placing lights on the Christmas tree.
I don't remember him ever being swallowed by our tree though!


Garrett took this shot from the floor under the tree. You thought I was kidding about "each branch" didn't you!
I only got about halfway up the tree before I ran out of lights. We have a couple of strands that are half out and several more that don't come on at all anymore. What a sad sight!
My wonderful husband spent an hour replacing bulbs and fuses in an attempt to salvage at least one strand of lights.

Alas, it was no use. These lights will take their rightful place in the garbage.

Look at all the dejected Christmas lights, never to grace the branches of an evergreen tree again.

Tomorrow (after my Anatomy final) I'll be headed to target in search of replacements. Hopefully I can find a Buy-One-Get-One sale! Until then, our tree will sit naked.

Christmas Tree Hunting

We took our traditional trip to the Christmas tree farm in Vine Grove yesterday. On our way down Dixie HWY we stopped at the tank to let the kids burn some energy. It was fun to watch them climb around and explore, but our "pit-stop" wasn't without a cost. It started to sprinkle while we were there and by the time we got to the Christmas Tree farm it was raining pretty hard.

This picture reminds me of my childhood and the "family day" tank rides my Dad took us on.

We love the Creekside Christmas Tree Farm. This makes the 7th year our home will be decorated with one of their beautiful trees. It's not too big-- Just a nice family-owned farm with smiling faces and hot apple cider.

Usually all the kids want to ride on the cart, but this year Kimberly was the only "brave" one. Apparently it hurts your butt pretty bad!

This is our tree--what a beauty! Yes. I know. It's BIG. We had to cut a couple feet off the bottom (where there was a big bald-spot anyway!)

It was beautiful-even in the rain!

While Robby pulled the tree to the car the kids decided to roll down the hill.

--As if they weren't wet enough already!

Our "hunting" trips are always memorable. Sometimes everything is covered with a beautiful white blanket of snow (which makes it difficult to evaluate the trees!) Sometimes the handsaw they provide isn't quite sharp enough. And sometimes we get the tree home and realize that it grew on the way! But. We always come away with a greater appreciation for
each other and the world around us. And spending the day together in the great outdoors away from the crowded shopping malls helps us to reestablish our priorities and refocus on the reason for the season. It's not about the tree. It's about spending time as a family appreciating all that we have. It's about marveling at the beauty that is all around us. But most of all, It's about celebrating the gift of life we were given by the sacrifice of Jesus Christ.

What's That Smell ? ? ?

One of my favorite things about working in the warehouse in Atlanta was getting to see the things other people had packed in their shoe boxes. You can tell a lot of thought and prayer goes into that process. Some boxes had mostly practical items like soap, washcloths, toothbrushes and toothpaste. Others were mostly candy and toys. Many of the boxes contained personal notes and pictures. But the one thing I found in every single box was love. When I took my time and focused on the shoebox in front of me I could almost picture the child that God had already picked to receive that box. I feel blessed to have been a small part of the process that will put a smile on a child's face, a sparkle in their eye and their own personal copy of the Gospel in their hands.
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Our second day working in the warehouse we spent the afternoon on the line, checking the shoe boxes for inappropriate items and taping them up for shipping. I was working next to Cynthia and really just enjoying myself. I reached around and picked a shoebox from the pallet to process. I opened the lid and before I could move anything around to check the contents my nose was invaded by noxious fumes. I sniffed a couple times as I carefully moved the items around in the box expecting to find some rotten fruit. I didn't see anything that could be causing the increasingly pungent odor. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Cynthia. She wasn't processing her box. She was just standing there looking at me. I looked over at her and she was laughing. Thinking she found humor in the look on my face or the way I was leaning over the box sniffing I said "Can you smell that???" She couldn't control herself any longer. She laughed so hard I thought she would slobber all over herself and admitted "I farted!"

Kids, Service and Surprises

We spent quite a bit of time at the gym during shoebox collection week. I always love seeing all the shoe boxes come in and helping to put them in cartons. I truly enjoy the challenge of fitting as many boxes as possible into each carton, but my favorite thing is merely having the opportunity to touch a box filled with simple gifts for a child who otherwise would receive nothing for Christmas.

My plan for this year was to go straight to the gym from school each afternoon (I get out at noon most days) and go home when the younger kids got home from school (about 4:30). I knew the kids wouldn't want to spend a bunch of time up there . . . the gym floor being used for cartons means no basketball! I knew I would have to threaten them to get them to behave and stay out of every one's way. I knew I would be frustrated and they would be grouchy and impatient. It just wasn't worth the hassle.

Well. Once again I was reminded that what I know isn't always accurate. (Did you read that? I came pretty darn close to admitting I was wrong! :) I was pleasantly surprised by all of my children, but Garrett and Lindsay's involvement was particularly unexpected.

Lindsay wasn't really satisfied when I let her pick out the boxes so I could fit them into the cartons. She didn't want to be someones "helper"-she wanted her own job. She wanted to work the tape gun but it had a very sharp edge so that was out. She asked about making labels (each carton has to be labeled with the number of shoe boxes inside) but her numbers aren't always clear so I told her we would find something else for her to do. When the time came to load the cartons into the trailer she was right there ready to help. I figured she would watch and realize she just wasn't big enough for the job, but that isn't what happened. Lindsay and Garrett pushed carton after carton to the back of the trailer --and these things are not light! I was so thankful that the adults (who were all lifting, carrying and stacking cartons) went out of their way to work around the kids even if it meant things moving a little slower at times.

So often we dismiss younger children as a burden when we are trying to accomplish a task (I know I did!), but my skinny little 10 year old son didn't quit until the job was done and my 6 year old daughter actually got mad when there were no more cartons left to load. Neither of them complained once about being tired. Neither of them asked to stay home the next night either.

This was such a great opportunity for the kids. They learned a lot about themselves and how they can be faithful in service to others. They learned a lot about what it means to be a good steward of the resources God has given each of us. And they learned a lot about making a difference, one box at a time. It was a great opportunity for the kids, but it was also a chance for them to teach us a thing or two. I learned a lot about the children I have been entrusted. And I learned never to underestimate what our God can do through us. All of us. He uses even the littlest of His people to accomplish His work.

HAIRCUT

One of the things Cynthia and I did while in Atlanta was to get Jess to cut our hair. I need to take a picture of Cynthia's new do (which is really cute I might add!) but I have several pictures of mine to share.

My haircut was a spur-of-the-moment thing. I wasn't sure how Robby would feel about it, so I didn't have Jess cut it as short as I would have liked.

BEFORE

AFTER

When Robby and I talked about my hair he was still a little disappointed that I had cut it again. He really likes it long (even though I wear it pulled up 98% of the time!) but he knows I have been itching for a change. He agreed that I should go ahead and cut it as short as I want (and hopes that I will want to grow it back out again!) So, I went out to the salon to see Jess today and she cut my hair. Again.

I still wasn't quite brave enough to go as short as I think I would like, but this is the shortest my hair has been since I was in middle school. (I'll have to find a picture of that horrible cut and share it-it's good for a laugh). I absolutely love my new "short" cut. Thank-You Jess for the awesome haircuts. Next time I'll try not to have you do it twice in one week!

By the way--Kimberly just pointed out that my hair looks like it's different colors in the pics. I didn't go all out and change my color-it's just the lighting.

Emotion Overload

Well, we have been home from Atlanta since Sunday evening and I am catching quite a bit of slack for not having posted anything at all about our trip. The thing is. . . I had intended on blogging during the trip and I do have so much I want to share, but I managed to find other things to do each evening. If I wasn't too tired to hold my eyes open I was giggling with Cynthia and Shannon or catching up with Jeff and Jess. On the way home I made some notes of things I want to be sure to share and I had every intention of sitting at the computer Sunday night to get started. BUT. . . Life happens and things rarely go as planned.

The drive home was not much fun. I think everyone in our car was suffering from the traditional physical and emotional exhaustion following such a trip (I know I was!). Conversation was light and traffic was heavy. There is nothing worse than being at a standstill on the interstate hundreds of miles from home. After a lot of stop-and-go our lethargy turned to excitement and the anticipation of being home refreshed our spirits. We called home and made dinner plans.

My husband agreed to meet us at Applebees, but (to make a long story short) miscommunication made for a long evening of waiting and wondering. We had called home at 7:15pm and by 8:30 I was convinced that something terrible had happened to my family. In reality, they were at the Applebees a few miles down the road wondering what was taking us so long. By 9 I was home (still hungry) and my emotions had hit a dangerous overload. After a quick and unexpected release of tears the kids ate Taco Bell and I went to bed. This was definitely not how I envisioned the evening going.

After being reminded (once again) that there are bigger problems in the world I have returned to a more lucid state of mind. So, over the next few days I will do my best to finish the posts from our trip and share some of the amazing things we experienced in Atlanta. It was definitely an experience I will not soon forget.

Big Mouth

Lindsay has "invented" a new afternoon snack. She takes 2 saltine crackers and covers them with peanut butter. Then she puts 2 pretzel sticks between them and presses them together to make a sandwich. It's pretty tasty (and you get your daily dose of sodium in one snack!)

She is so tickled with her culinary skills that she made one for everybody to try. Robby is at Lowe's tonight (big surprise huh) so Lindsay put his name on a Ziploc bag and made him a special snack for after work. When she brought it to show me she smiled and said "I gave Dad four pretzels because he has a big mouth and two wasn't enough!"

Don't Try This at Home

OK. First let me say that I was asked not to share the name of the child that this story is about. Apparently there is quite a bit of embarrassment involved. So I will simply refer to the guilty party as "Kiddo".

So. I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth after a nice long nap in preparation for a trip to church. Garrett had Bible Drill, Lindsay Velocity and the older girls and I planned to work in the gym collecting shoe boxes. These afternoons present quite a challenge in our house. Cynthia and Kimberly have to fix their hair and change clothes at least 3 times, Lindsay can never find her vest, bag and book, Garrett doesn't want to turn off the TV until the last possible moment and I usually have to look for either my keys or my cellphone.

Amidst all the chaos Kiddo walked into the bathroom, face down and eyes on the floor. "Mom. I need your help." Kiddo mumbled never looking up. "How do you get bubblegum out of hair?"

To make a long story short Kiddo had decided to try something they had seen in a movie recently. I don't really remember the exact part, but apparently there is a scene in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory where someone puts gum behind their ear to save it for later.

We had to cut some hair and the bright yellow gum refused to come off the back of Kiddo's ear, but we learned a valuable lesson about reality vs television. I laughed, but not too hard. After all, I was the one who watched A Christmas Story and decided to stick my tongue to the metal mailbox outside.

Just For Fun

Who Needs A Treadmill

The kids and I went hiking today. After walking around for almost an hour (climbing stairs made of railroad ties and descending steep hills, crossing the creek and throwing rocks into the pond) we started back to the car. We were talking about how nice it was to enjoy the sunny (although not too warm) day outdoors and get some much needed exercise when Lindsay decided to enlighten us. Lindsay was telling me that she wasn't even tired and then she said "You know what, Mom? This is just like walking on the treadmill except you don't stay in one place!"

Yep. It's hereditary!

Celebration Time!

I love Jess's dress. It definitely shows her personality!

I was trying to "help" Kimberly do the YMCA!

Aren't they a cute couple!

Kimberly in a DRESS! Isn't she a doll!

Happy Halloween ^-_-^

Robby made us a special Halloween pizzaKimberly the football player, Lindsay the pumpkin (her face is the stem and her pigtails were painted green for leaves), Garrett the mummy and Cynthia the cowgirl.

CRAZY BOYS

Garrett had three friends over Friday night. Let me just say-Boys scream just as loud as girls! We turned all the lights off and gave each child a mini flashlight. The older girls crawled around and jumped out and scared them. I'd bet the screams could be heard for miles (did you hear any screaming Friday night Jeff?)

What do you think of Garrett's glasses??

When it was time to wind down the boys went to Garrett's room (which was clean before the party-I promise!) and played video games.



The girls curled up on the beanbags and watched a movie

It was fun, but I sure am glad it's over!

Oldies but Goodies

These are from our trip to Cincinnati to pick Lindsay up from her summer trip to Grandma's (in Pitt). I don't know why I never posted them because I absolutely LOVE the face painting the kids had done at Cheeseburger In Paradise. Of course, Kimberly was too cool for it.

These are Lindsay's BEST friends-the frog band. Although they are supposed to be lawn decorations they spend most of their time in her room playing school or providing back up music for her beautiful singing. They missed her greatly while she was gone and designed their own "WELCOME HOME" sign to let her know just how much! She was pretty shocked --but not fooled.

Garrett's Birthday Lunch

Garrett's birthday was actually Saturday, but we had his lunch/family party today. Grandma Lulu was able to come in from Pittsburgh (on her way to a conference in Indiana) which was a huge surprise for Garrett. Grandma Helen and Grandpa Norman were here and Kestin and Jeni brought Sophie for her first visit to our house. It was a nice, calm afternoon of fun. The WILD party will be next weekend when Garrett has about 4 of his friends sleeping over! I think the girls and I might go hide out at Grandma Helen's and leave Robby

here to deal with all the craziness!

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Garrett's "special request" cake- Chocolate cake with chocolate frosting (we also had chocolate ice cream!) That's MY boy!

Grandma Lulu holding Baby Sophie

Lindsay enjoyed the cake, she even got some IN her mouth!

Sometimes all the excitement is just too much