Yesterday I found myself questioning. Questioning life. Questioning my purpose. Questioning God.
I know. I have no right.
I know. He doesn't answer to anyone - especially me.
I couldn't help it. I spent my evening watching a friend mourn the loss of her oldest son. He was 14.
He was diagnosed with Leukemia about a year ago and had a bone marrow transplant in recent months. The problems came with the medication he was given to try to keep his body from rejecting the transplant. He suffered a severe allergic reaction (called
Stevens-Johnson Syndrome) which caused blisters in the mucous membranes and skin deterioration so bad that his casket had to remain closed. Over the last few weeks his mother watched helplessly as her son's body destroyed itself.
At the funeral home we waited in a long line of everything from middle-school boys to grandparents. As we moved closer to the head of the line we could see my friend (Heidi) graciously accepting the condolences of each and every person. Standing there I was both anxiously anticipating my chance to throw my arms around her and increasingly apprehensive about what I would say.
I Squeezed her tightly as we exchanged a few words and shared a lot of tears. I wish I had something insightful to say. I wish I could have carried her load, if only for a moment to allow her to regain her footing. I wish . I wish. I wish.
It's days like this that remind me that sometimes the only place we can look to for comfort is up. The only person that can carry us through it is Jesus. And the only thing we can do is trust.
Our clinical uniforms aren't the greatest, but they beat the old solid white scrubs. If you've never seen those hideous things you don't know what you're missing! (Just ask my friend Jeff who recently enrolled in a different Nursing program in town.) 
A certain little girl I know has decided that she looks better in the outfit than Dora does. I bet those plastic shoes are uncomfortable!
I also put out MY train (Yes. I am a little possessive!) which hasn't been out of the box in at least 4 years. I love my little train and it brings back some great childhood memories, so I'm not really sure why it hasn't been out in so long. I guess it started with not wanting the kids to break it (this is not a "toy" train) and I was being selfish and not wanting to share! It was hard to do, but I let Garrett and Lindsay help set up the track and they have even worked the controls a couple of times! 
Last night we had the annual Bates Family Christmas party. Having so many people in the house is both fun and challenging. It's nice to catch up with people we don't see often and I got to show off the decorations that I worked so hard on (HA HA)! With all the adults moving around it was hard for Lindsay and Brayden to find a place to play where they weren't getting stepped on, but they are resourceful little people. They found the perfect little hiding place. . .
