According to the Script . . . .

It has been hectic at school lately. Pharmacology is kicking my butt and our midterm practical evaluation in Health Assessment was totally nerve racking. Pharmacology is a lot of memorization mixed with a little application and "review" of physiology. The problem is our professor is extremely scatterbrained and therefore totally confusing! I spend more time trying to figure out what he meant to say than I do actually listening to him teach.

Our Health Assessment midterm involved using a "fake" patient and completing their "check-up" with no notes (or chart). Our "patients" are from Actor's Theater and they have learned the appropriate medical terminology and the procedures for a head-to-toe physical assessment. They really do a good job and it's nice to have someone to practice on that actually knows if I am doing something wrong. But at the same time, it's tough to complete an assessment on someone who is grading everything you do from conversation to comfort to knowledge of procedures. I made it through, but not without drama.

Of course, not knowing what to expect and knowing that I had to pass the assessment to pass the class made for some stressful times. I was so nervous that I was nauseated waiting for my scheduled assessment time. We are timed (we had 45 minutes) so all the students enter their exam room at the same time. While waiting in the hallway I tried to mentally review the script we had written out to study from. Our instructor told us that for the purpose of our midterm we would assume that all of our findings were "normal". We had to verbalize everything that we did and (everything that we were looking at) as well as the appropriate terminology for a "normal" finding. So we wrote out a script and memorized it.

So here I was. Standing in the hallway thinking to myself "skin in slightly pink with no lesions or scars. . . . Hair is full and evenly distributed. . . . etc. . . etc. . . . etc. . . ." When the instructor announced it was time to enter our rooms I took a deep breath and knocked on the door. I thought I was totally prepared, but when I opened the door and looked at my "patient" my mind went blank. Sitting on the exam table was a big, BALD, BLACK man. I smiled and introduced myself and turned to the sink to wash my hands all the while trying to compose my thoughts. See, we didn't ever practice on an African American (or any ethnicity other than Caucasian) and we had never discussed appropriate wording for things such as the color of skin or lips and gums. Obviously they aren't "slightly pink" as we had practice repeatedly! And it didn't help that the man was bald. "How do I describe his hair? He has none. Am I going loose points if I don't describe his hair that doesn't exist??" I washed my hands for what seemed like forever thinking maybe if I washed them long enough my "patient's" color would change and he would grow hair, but it didn't happen.

During the exam the "patient" can't say anything a real patient wouldn't be expected to say. He did laugh a little though when I said "hair is . . . um . . . thinning."

I ended up doing fine. At the end the"patient" gives feedback about their experience as a patient. Needless to say I was quite embarrassed when the first thing he said was "Girl. I know I'm bald. Don't be afraid to say it."